“Let me out!”, I kept screaming in hopes that someone would hear me “someone, anyone.” Silence filled the room yet again. I wondered if I would ever get out of here, but my hope slowly faded away, day after day, year after year. 

The voices in my head only grew stronger. the permanent angel and demon that fight on my shoulders the two little voices that got me in here in the first place, but to be honest I don’t know where I would be without them, actually I would probably be out of this hell hole that I sadly have to call my home, a goddam mental asylum. 

Thanks, Julie and Dave if you’re wondering, Yes they are my angel and demon, I named them weird right, but after all, they were my best friends and I needed to give them a name. I can’t remember a moment of my life that they weren’t there with me, however, I have thought about what it would be like to be normal to not hear them. Sometimes I wish, I wish I could go inside into the sunlight, and feel the warmth touch my skin, I can’t even remember the last time I was able to go outside. How depressing does that sound? 

All I ever feel is the stone cold floor that constantly brushes up against my skin, each year I ask if I could have a proper bed instead of a 1cm thick mat, that was my only wish, but they wouldn’t even grant me that. I stare endlessly at the four walls that surround me; they are the representation of the black void that constantly remains with me stripping away every last part of what makes me, me. I have wondered many, many times if it would be easier to just give in and let the darkness consume me whole, but I remember the words my father always used to say to me, “never give up there is always another way, improvise adapt overcome” 

i can barely remember my father after I lost him at such a young age, but what I do remember is that he loved me and believed every word that came out of my mouth, a least as much as he could, I could tell even then that he was scared of me I mean Julie and Dave but I loved him for trying everything to make me feel comfortable with who I am, my mother however wasn’t as pleasant, sadly i have more memories of her after all she was the one that locked me up in here, she got sick of it the consistent chattering that came out of my mouth “shut up”, “stop talking to those imaginary friends of yours”, “what did I deserve to end up with a little shit like you” those words would always and forever remain in my mind as a remember of the insane person I am or at least what my mother thinks I was, thankfully my friends were there for me, Julie and Dave my anchors to this wretched world. 

And while I am still here I will make sure that I will do what my father wanted me to do, “improvise, adapt, overcome” and that means one thing don’t give up. While those words repeated in my mind I realised I will find a way out of here no matter how long it takes. I mean I have pretty much grown up here. I lost count of the days, the years  I think I will be turning 17 this year if I have my dates right, and I will be damned if I spend that day here. 

I started hearing footsteps coming down the hallway, it was the doctor, his harsh footsteps aren’t something I can forget the way he walks, with such pride, like he runs the world. Besides, it couldn’t have been anybody else for I am not allowed visitors because apparently I am a hazard. 

My body started trembling, for I knew what awaited me when he got down to the end of this hallway and knocked on my door asking me the same question he has for the last 11 years. “Are you still hearing voices, will you take the described medication, the doctors say if you take it you can leave?” I don’t know what happened but something inside me just clicked like a switch. I was no longer scared of him. In fact, I wanted to give him a piece of my mind. “my answer will remain the same now and forever.” “I would rather be me than pretend to be something I’m not” “I will not change who I am to please everyone else. I like who I am, so I will never take those fucking drugs.” I felt stronger than I ever have, the adrenaline rushing through me, I knew if I wanted to get out it had to be soon, so I made one final decision I ran, I pushed past him as hard as I could knocking him to the ground, I knew what the consequences of my action would be, so I just kept running without a second thought

 I was finally out I didn’t know how long I had been running but it just felt good to run I looked back and saw it in the distance, my home, i started hearing voices behind me the were chasing me but that just gives me more adrenaline to keep going however my feet started aching, in fact, my whole body was but I didn’t care, for the first time in a long time I finally felt free, fling the grass beneath in between toes the warmth it was like everything i  had ever dreamed of i was exactly like i pictured it I would make sure that it would stay that way only two words now remained in my mind “I’m free”. Suddenly everything went black. Then I felt a very familiar sensation, the cold stone floor brushing up against my skin.

Laughter was all I heard waking me up  “I’m Back?” they were mocking me Fear would no longer control me“Well it just looks like I will have to try again tomorrow”